19 SEO Groaners

What do you call 19 SEO groaners? This blog post.

What’s likely to get your ship sunk by pirates?

Canonical issues.

What do you call a dating service for chauvinist lesbians?
Broad match.

What does a chiropractor fix?
Back links.

What do you call a dating service that only collects a fee when two people hit it off?
Pay per click.

What do you call a girl with big boobs on a trampoline?
High bounce rate.

What do you call it when a tapeworm has you over for dinner?
Parasite hosting.

What do you call it when twins are pleased?
Duplicate content.

What does a links superhero wear?
A Linkscape.

What do you call it when the prey hunts the hunter?
A trackback.

What do you call a game where touching the person makes them NOT it?
Alt tag.

What does an annoying nitpicker call a game where touching the person makes them NOT it?
Alt attribute.

What do you call a squire at the top of the stairs?
A landing page.

What do you call Zelda in lingerie?
Link bait.

What do you call driving into London?
Paid traffic.

What is “king of kings”?
A meta title.

What do you call it when you and a small band of Spartans fend off an army of Persians?
A 301 redirect.

What do you call chatty psychics?
Social media.

What does an evangelist drink out of when partying hard?
A conversion funnel.

What do you call a man with six fingers on one hand?
Supplemental index.

This article was originally written by Simon Abramovitch.

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24 Comments

  1. Some of those were bloody awful!!!! Loved it :)

    Sent on September 14, 2009 by Andy
  2. I never knew what a “hidden link” is. Now I know: It’s when Zelda is showering. :-)

    Sent on September 14, 2009 by Julian
  3. High bounce rate hahahaha

    This is hilarious

    Sent on September 15, 2009 by HichamD
  4. What do you call science of page titles?
    Metaphysics

    Sent on September 15, 2009 by CT Moore
  5. LOL

    I think I’m gonna fit right in… :D

    Sent on September 15, 2009 by Sarah-Jane
  6. I like the one about London! So true :D

    Sent on September 16, 2009 by Sarah
  7. I like the explanation for “high bounce rate!” :)

    Sent on September 17, 2009 by Colleen
  8. ‘What do you call Zelda in lingerie?’

    A bit of wee actually came out – I’m such a geek…

    Sent on September 17, 2009 by stuartpturner
  9. Meta title is king of kings? LOL! Meta title is god in SEO? ROFL

    Sent on September 17, 2009 by Singapore SEO Services
  10. I fear the satire is lost on our Singaporean friend…

    Sent on September 17, 2009 by Andy
  11. Picking up the best girl (or guy) in the room: Quality Score. Great list, especially the trampoline!

    Sent on September 18, 2009 by Gifford Morley-Fletcher
  12. Bravo! I especially like the Spartan reference.

    Sent on September 18, 2009 by Brad Shorr
  13. Great list! I almost cried when I read the Link bait one :D

    Sent on September 19, 2009 by Jason
  14. “What do you call Zelda in lingerie?
    Link bait.”

    Hahah that’s awesome ;D

    Sent on September 20, 2009 by Kieron Hughes
  15. What’s in a virgin’s pants on a first date? Sticky content. I had to lower the tone a little…

    Sent on September 20, 2009 by stuartpturner
  16. geek

    Sent on September 22, 2009 by socrates
  17. Some are very good, some not, but a great collection indeed! :) ))

    Sent on September 23, 2009 by Combson’s Yachts
  18. Really good sense of humor used and very interesting post on seo.

    Sent on October 1, 2009 by Tag44
  19. haha,i liked the twins pleased and the trackback.

    Sent on October 20, 2009 by dimaks
  20. I enjoy reading the report, too. It′s easy to understand that a journey like this is the biggest event in ones

    life.

    Sent on May 6, 2010 by mbt shoes
  21. a nice the report. It is very simple.

    Sent on August 26, 2011 by Koch
  22. Great answered delivered by considering SEO terms.

    Sent on April 4, 2012 by Hemant